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Difficult Areas
in Marriage

Planning Your Wedding Ceremony

Getting married can be as simple or as complicated as you choose to make it. The more you add to your wedding, the more complicated it will become. The more complicated that it becomes, the more difficult it will be to "bring off" the ceremony just the way that you want it. It is very important to think through each part of the ceremony and decide "what" and "why" you want things included.

The wedding ceremony is yours:

What do you want your ceremony to say about you, your feelings, your beliefs, your intentions, your dreams?

Consider that you have chosen to have your wedding in a Church.

How do you intend to recognize God and Christian values in your ceremony?

• You must have a valid marriage license to have your wedding ...
  
  Check with your county clerk to find outwhat you must do to get a marriage license ...
  be sure to find out what types of identification or other legal documents you must have to apply for a license ...
  ask if there is a waiting period ...
  
  Check to see if you must have any type of medical tests or attend some sort of class(es) before the marriage license can be issued ...
  
  Confirm how long the marriage license is good for (typically the ceremony must take place within thirty days of the issuance of the license ... but check to be sure) ...
  
  Check to see if residency requirements limit where the wedding can take place (for example:  In the State of Michigan, a marriage license issued to residents of the State of Michigan allows a couple to be married in any county in the State of Michigan;  however, a marriage license issued to non-residents of the State of Michigan the couple must be married in the county in which the marriage license was issued)
  
  
• Be clear about the date and the time that you want the rehearsal  ________________;
  
  and date and time of you want the ceremony  ________________;
  
  and (because the pastor may have more than one church) which church at which the ceremony will be performed.

• Set the time and date for your pre-wedding meeting(s) with the pastor
  
  
• Be clear as to who will be officiating and participating in the ceremony ...
  
  Let the pastor of the church which you are using know "up-front" if you want to use another pastor or have another pastor or person participate in the ceremony.

• As soon as possible after meeting with the pastor to set the date of the ceremony, meet with the church's music director/organist/accompanist to discuss music for the ceremony ...
  
  Please note that some "traditional" pieces that are often played at weddings may not be what you want when you discover their origin and intention (especially, "Here Comes the Bride..."). As early as possible, let the music director/etc. and the pastor know about plans that you might have for special vocal or instrumental music (whether vocal or instrumental solo, etc.).

• Be very clear as to the amount of fee/honorarium that will be paid to the music director/organist/accompanist or other vocalists or musicians.

• Make arrangements for your wedding photographer ...
  
  It is best to limit the number of photos taken during the actual ceremony...after the processional, before the recessional.

• Make arrangements for your florist ...
  
  Encourage your florist to contact the pastor to arrange to see the church and to clarify church rules and special conditions.

• If the church you are using does not have one, choose someone to serve as your "wedding facilitator" ...
  
  This is a person a person who can be at the rehearsal and the ceremony, and who will have the task of making sure that, before the wedding ceremony, people in the wedding party are "where they are supposed to be" "when they are supposed to be. It is safe to say that, without a "facilitator" your ceremony will begin anywhere from 10 to 30 minutes late.

• Think through what you expect each member of your wedding party to do.  For example:
  
  Will groomsmen also usher?
  
   How will bridesmaids assist the bride during the ceremony?

Preliminaries

The entire wedding party should plan to be at the church at least one hour before the ceremony is scheduled to begin. If the bride and her bridesmaids are planning to dress at the Church, they should arrive at least two hours early. All members of the wedding party should be unimpaired by alcohol or drugs. All members of the wedding party should know their responsibilities and "cues".

Ushers will seat guests as they begin to arrive ... all ladies are escorted on the usher's right arm

Prelude music will begin ... length of the prelude should be negotiated with the music director

Ushers light the candles

At 10 minutes before the ceremony the ushers will seat grandparents ... the groom's first ... then the bride's

After the grandparents are seated, the groom's parents will be seated.

No later than 5 minutes before the ceremony, the bride's mother is seated

The aisle runner is laid ... the bride and her escort, the bridesmaids, groomsmen and groom take their places in preparation for the processional  ...

The Prelude
(instrumental or vocal music)

The wedding processional

The Welcome

The Charge to the Couple

The Giving of the Bride

Vocal or other music if desired

The Pledge of Faithfulness (exchange of vows)

Vocal or other music if desired

The Blessing and Exchange of Rings

Vocal or other music if desired

The Pronouncement of Marriage

(the kiss)

Lighting the Unity Candle

Vocal or other music if desired

The Blessing upon the Couple

The Ritual of Gratitude (Bride and Groom offer flowers or other gifts to each other's parents or families)

The Celebration of the Sacrament if desired

The Benediction

The Presentation of the Couple

The Recessional

The Postlude

The Bride's parents are ushered out

The Groom's parents are ushered out

The Bride's grandparents are ushered out

The Groom's grandparents are ushered out

The ushers or Bride and Groom dismiss the congregation by pew