Minutes of Meetings with God and with Myself
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Forgiveness ...

My goals for the day had been pretty ambitious and not really as simple as they originally appeared. First, I wanted to finish up a sermon that was not "working" the way I thought it would. The process of getting ready for our next Sunday morning worship was proving to not be easy. Second, I wanted to get a good start on composing the parish newsletter that was already a week behind schedule. Third, I hoped to attend the monthly meeting of the parish's United Methodist Women. After that, there was about two hours of packing and distributing food and personal care items for our community's poor at a local Senior Citizen's Center. Finally, there was the Admin-istrative Council meeting for one of the two churches that I serve. The first goal was within my grasp when unexpected things began to crowd the day. The phone rang. A clergy colleague was out of town for a much needed rest, the church secretary was calling because two of that church's saints had been taken to the hospital; one was in intensive care. Would I go visit them and give them pastoral support? The phone rang again and this time it was a church member's sister, calling long distance, from the Dakotas, to let me know that our church member had been taken to a nearby hospital here in Michigan and the situation sounded very serious. Would I go visit her, offer pastoral support, and find out what was really going on? While all these other things pushed into my day, a thought that had awakened me nights before kept coming back to mind. In the middle of a restless sleep, the realization forcefully struck me (shaking me awake!) how powerfully right Jesus had been when he said to his followers: If you forgive anyone his sins, they are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven." (John 20:23 NIV) I could not and still cannot shake that thought. Its repercussions and consequences continue to emerge. Between struggling at the computer to get the sermon completed, fielding phone calls and trying to figure out how to restructure the day so as to get as much as possible done. The night time realization sort of haunted me. God forgives us when we sin. Every time we miss the target (in thought, word or deed) for which God wants us to aim and admit it, God says, "I love you, start over." Forgiveness kills sin by not allowing it to continue to live and grow. But if we do not forgive a person's sins, those sins continue to live on, not only in the sinner's life but in our own. Forgiveness allows the one who has sinned to be born again, to start life anew. If we do not forgive, then not only is the sinner denied new life, but we who have not offered forgiveness, are burdened with the weight of the past. Failure to forgive not only burdens individuals (not only the sinner, but the one sinned against) with the weight of sin, but it adds to the burden of sin that all of creation must continue to hold up under. How was such thinking going to help me through my day? Finally, the last page of the sermon oozed out of the printer next to the computer. I threw on some clothes that were good enough to visit the hospital in, but not too good to wrestle boxes and bags of groceries in. The new plan for the day called for a quick stop at the church to meet with the United Methodist Women for at least a minute or two. On the way to the church, as I had hundreds of other times, I drove a long section of road that's straddled by large open fields and with a deep (10 or more feet deep) ditch on one side. At the church, there were a few moments to greet people that I hadn't seen since our weeks of serious snow had started and the President of the United Methodist Women asked me to open the business session with a prayer. After collecting a "Thinking of You" card from the group for our sick church member, I was off to the hospital. Thankfully, everyone in the hospital was doing better than when they were admitted. One was soon to be transferred out of intensive care, and two were to be released for home, probably the next day. Our church member's situation was still being sorted out, but it was not as serious as the doctors had at first supposed. Relieved that the hospitalized folks were doing okay, I set off to help pack and distribute food to those of our community in need. The food distribution site was a hectic situation. The group was short handed because some of the regulars who help pack and distribute the food couldn't make it. A large community meeting scheduled to use the same room that is the food distribution's regular monthly site forced a move to another and inconvenient part of the building. However, the food group works together well and managed to make the needed adjustments. On the way home for a quick supper, as I had hundreds of other times, I drove a long section of road that's straddled by large open fields and with a deep (did I mention it's 10 or more feet deep) ditch on one side. My wife had made up a tasty Greek salad, I looked at the mail, and quickly looked at the only part of the newspaper really worth reading (the comics). I gathered up my materials for the evening's Administrative Council meeting, grabbed a few things that needed copying for the Sunday bulletin, and headed out the door. On the way to the church, as I had hundreds of other times, I drove a long section of road that's straddled by large open fields and that deep ditch on one side. A little bit of snow fell as I drove. At the church, we started our Administrative Council's business meeting. The agenda was hefty because the previous month's meeting had been canceled due to a snow storm. The meeting went long, but folks managed to keep their sense of humor When the meeting ended, I photo-copied some things for the Sunday bulletin. My day done, except for the drive home, I climbed into my pickup truck. It had snowed some, but the road by the church was just wet when I pulled away from the building. On the way home, as I had hundreds of other times, I came out of the trees to begin that a long section of road that's straddled by large open fields and that deep (10 or more feet deep) ditch on one side. In a matter of a few hours, the wind gusting across the open fields had taken a light snow and covered the road with sizeable drifts, and glazed everything underneath with ice. I slowed immediately, but almost before I knew it, the truck was laying on its driver's side in that deep ditch and I was trying to get my seatbelt undone. A passerby helped me get out the pas-senger side. I wasn't hurt except for my ego. As I looked down at the truck in the ditch, and wondered what I could have done to avoid what happened, I knew that one of the people I was going to have to be able to forgive is me.