Minutes of Meetings with God
and with Myself

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Hurricanes ...

Many times I take life altogether too personally. One such episode began with a hurricane, hurricane Erin, to be exact. My wife, Susie, and I were planning to go to my family reunion early in August. I was really looking forward to going because I would get to see my mother for the first time in two years. It looked as if things were all ready for Mom to make it to the reunion, she had her plane ticket in hand.

My wife and I were ready to make the 450 mile drive down to Knoxville. Then about two days before Mom was scheduled to fly out of Pensacola, Florida, Hurricane Erin hit Pensacola. The hurricane didn't just brush Pensacola; the center of the eye of the hurricane went through Pensacola. The place got hit very hard, not only by the hurricane itself, but by the trailing weather. There were electrical storms, tornados, and so on.

For some 24 hours, I couldn't get a call through to Mom to find out how or if she had survived the storm. I kept getting that frustrating telephone company recording: "All circuits are busy now, please try your call again, later". I finally got through to her. She and my sister, and my brother were all okay. She said her power was still out after 18 hours, but that, hopefully, electricity would be restored in a few more hours.

Her plane was scheduled to leave Pensacola airport just a couple of hours from the time she and I were on the phone, and she couldn't find out if the airport had re-opened or whether she could get a plane out. We needed to start our drive to Knoxville as soon as I finished talking with Mom. It meant leaving without knowing for certain whether Mom would make the reunion or not.

When I hung up the phone was the moment that I started to take the hurricane personally. God got a pretty intense earful from me as Susie and I started our trip. My conversation with God went something like this. God, why did you let that hurricane happen now? Didn't you realize it would mess up all my plans for seeing my mother for the first time in two years? God, how could you fail to anticipate what this storm would do to me and what I want to do? God, I really scrambled to make this reunion and to make sure that Mom would be there, too. How could you do this to me? There were some other, mostly unprintable things that I said to God as well. It wasn't until we had been in the car for several that I began to realize what I was doing. On one hand, I was assuming God had created this hurricane just to thwart my plans. It was as if I was seeing a "gift tag" on the hurricane that said: From: God To: William Michael Clemmer.

On the other hand, I was assuming that the entire universe revolves around me and God should put me and mine as the top priority on his "to-do" list so that I would always get taken care of first, foremost, and best. I was trying to make God a sort of cosmic caterer at my own personal feast. I was wanting a totally secure life without any hardships, questions, or fears. I was wanting magic, I was wanting fantasy, I was wanting to control God and to make God do exactly what I wanted Him to do.

I was doing what Moses tried to do to God at the "Burning Bush". Moses asked God to reveal his name. To us that seems harmless enough, but back then, people believed that if you knew the name of a god, you could control that god. You could make that god do anything that you wanted. God's reply to Moses was basically: I am not telling you my name. "I will be who I will be." I am not here to serve you, rather, you are here to serve me! You, Moses, will do what I want you to do, not vice-versa.

By the time my wife and I got to Knoxville and to the airport to meet the plane my Mom was supposed to be on, I had calmed down a bit and was almost thinking sanely. Then Mom wasn't on the plane. She was going to be on the next flight. She was going to be late, not because of the hurricane, but because some little circuit board in her airplane's radar had gone bad. It had taken four hours to replace it, and that ended up making her six hours late into Knoxville.

Finally, I saw my Mom walking down the corridor from her plane. It was great to just give her the biggest hug and kiss. She was tired from almost 10 hours in airports But she had great hurricane stories, including one about my brother having to coax her into the house in the middle of the storm. She had been sitting on her back porch, in her swing, with her cup of coffee, watching the hurricane blow. That's Mom.

Out of all the near disasters, God worked it so we all made it to family reunion; I did get to see my Mom (did I just revert back to making God a cosmic caterer?), and then I got to run an 8K road race and, after that, I got my car towed away, and ...